Saturday, June 03, 2006

Day 182

Its funny how some weeks you can not find enough minutes in the hour and other weeks you check your watch to make sure that it is still working and to verify that time has actually not stopped. At present I am in the ‘time has stopped’ week. It actually leaves me a bit confused about how I could be so busy sometimes and not others. I know this is natural, but since I have arrived I always feel like I am needing to do something be it count drugs, or store drugs, or supply drugs, or plan trainings, or perform trainings…Yup, for some reason this week I did not feel overwhelmed by the counting and the supplying and the performing. What I have been overwhelmed with is the planning of going away parties. Our field coordinator is leaving the project next week, which makes me nervous in many respects. He has come to be the person I ask most of my questions to, and the one I rely on to answer all of them. Now, I do not mean to sound dramatic, the project will continue and people will get treatment, but the planning is going to be different. Being human, change always comes with a bit of anxiety.

I find it hard to believe that I have been here a full six months. With all of the changes occurring I am assuming that the next six will go by in the blink of an eye. I can only hope that the work that I have been at times stressing about is actually making a difference in some way. I guess that is the eternal question of life, what is the meaning of my presence here? I am sure that I will be no closer to answering that in the coming months than I am right now, but I hope to have a hell of a lot of fun searching for the answer.


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